Yea! A new year. I'm not sure why but I love the coming of a New Year. I think it's the starting of new things, new resolutions, new beginnings, almost just a clean slate. And of course a new calendar. *wink!
This morning as I was reading Beth Moore's new post I was reading my own life this past year. The major darkness I was in and how I felt as though no one else could possibly feel this way. No other "christian" could possibly be in complete darkness and not feel God near them for weeks or months at a time but yet be in his word....or at least sometimes in his word. For those of us that have been in such darkness KNOW that when you are there it's hard for the darkness to Not overtake you and for God to be there.in that small place.
Sitting here reading that post I had a new thinking, a new thought. My MIL's favorite verse, the one on her gravestone, is "we live by faith, not by sight". Because she did. I've always thought I understood that, but now it's in a different light. All of that time I thought I was alone in the darkness. That I was the only christian in the world that was in darkness without thinking God could possibly be near me at this point when I'm not in his word because the darkness had started to overcome me.
"We are quick to assume that all darkness is demonic but sometimes maybe the shadow over us is the hand of God covering us while His glory passes by."--Beth Moore.
I had never in my life thought of this. This is what I love about Gods word. That it is multifaceted. But how glorious to think that the darkness I was in was possibly His glory just over me. during the darkness. I mean I've always known that every trouble, every hard time, every death, every job loss, every sorrow, has a meaning....in God's big picture. In his view. And I've accepted that as a glorious thing. That God would let me be part of the big picture. Because boy have we ever been through so much sorrow and pain for almost 2 straight years. But now, NOW, we are in the LIGHT. And it's so comforting to know that God took every single step with me this last year. That even on those days cuddled on the bathroom floor, getting 2 quiet minutes to myself over the screaming children, that He was there with me in that darkness. That even though my human sinful self could not see thru the darkness to see his light, HE WAS THERE!
A very, very long time ago, before I was really in the word- I saw a scripture in the most strange place. In a gas station that sold bait near a lake. It was on a chalk board above the register. And I never forgot it. It's one of my favorite scriptures ever, and it always reminds me of the little ways God puts things into our paths.
"In him was life, and that light was the life of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1: 4-5
That verse is what I need to remember in those dark times, as we all go thru. Maybe I'll stick it on my bathroom mirror for the next time I barricade myself in there to get silence.
I'm glad to have this new understanding of a verse I know so well. I feel as though I NOW know the true meaning of walking by faith and not by sight. My eyes are truly opened and hopefully God will choose to continue to open my eyes to his word. Even in the sometimes dark corners of all our lives.
Happy New Year to you all and I hope God blesses you all this upcoming year!
4 comments:
Hi Leigh-
This post is very similar to mine for the new year. Not the words, or the situation, but the sentiment and the outcome. I'm so excited for 2010 and will continue to pray for you as you progress into 2010 with me.
I was blessed to flip to Hebrews and, in the last 2 days have read through it twice...(so not like me). In any case, in Hebrews 11, right before 12 where it's all about living by faith, there is a wonderful passage about hanging on through the darkness for those of us who are longer-time believers. It was so refreshing to see this as I'm on my way out, or so I feel, of this dark ugly funk. Thanks for sharing!
I once broke my arm pushing your brothers away so i could shut the door to the tiled santuary. We've all have too many moments there. Remember 9870 Mixon Dr. 772 29/20 Google-Earth it.
Your new path sounds delightful. Happy New year!
Thanks for sharing. This was a very touching post and I enjoyed listening to your thoughts and emotions. Very inspiring. Love the Beth Moore quote--so true and so enlightening.
I love those "a-ha" moments when a verse we've chewed on and thought about over and over suddenly comes to light. And I love when a sister in Christ shares her lesson to encourage those of us who need it! Thanks for sharing yours with us!
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