God knows what He's doing! {Guest Post}

Hi! I am Kate, mom to Lboy, 20 months, wife to Todd, going on 20 months (okay not quite), and doggy mommy to Giorgio, the world's toughest yorkie. I write at Mommy Monologues. I started my blog in March of 2010 for various reasons. One, I needed a creative outlet. Two, I needed a hobby that I could do from my house since I was a new SAHM. Three, I needed a hobby that let me interact with people and one that didn't require a babysitter. And lastly, I just fell in love with all the blog designs I saw on the various mommy blogs. I was hooked! When Leigh said she needed guest features, I jumped at the chance to share my story about my Nemo Toe. 

My Nemo Toe

Excuse the no toe nail polish! I was too lazy to paint them!

I was 12 years old when I first discovered that my toe was different. I had hit a growth spurt that year & as my feet grew, my toe didn't.

I was at the swimming pool & a little girl pointed at my left foot and said, "Dear God, what happened to your foot?!" I looked down & was mortified. I had never noticed it before. I ran home, showed my mom, we went to the doctor (ha) and all he told me was that I was missing a joint. 

From then on, I swore off flip flops, I wouldn't wear any sandals, I didn't go barefoot, except to swim, & I would immediately jump into the pool so no one would see it. It was ugly, it was disgusting, I HATED it. I used to ask God why he gave me this stupid left foot with the stupid toe, why couldn't I have normal, pretty feet?

The summer I was 17, I ended up working as a camp counselor at a church camp. One week there was a little boy there, Ryan, who always played all the activities with his left hand in his pocket. He never took it out, he never ate with it, he never did anything with it, it always stayed in that pocket. 

One day I called him to the side during a game of tag & asked him why he wouldn't use his left hand for anything. He shamefully pulled out his left hand and showed me that he only had 4 fingers. When he was born he didn't have a thumb, so the doctors removed his index finger & made it a thumb when he was a few days old. 

Keep in mind we are on the game field, in front of a 100 people, and I start taking off my shoe on my left foot. This kid is staring at me like I'm insane. I take off my sock. And I point right down at my weird toe. "Look Ryan, I have a weird toe. I hate it. And I hide it. If you will use your hand to play this game, then I will wear flip flops the rest of the week." 

I saw his eyes light up, he used his hand to play tag. It was the first time that week I ever saw him use it. That night, I wore flip flops to dinner. Later, during free time a group of us were sitting on the front porch of the boys' cabin & I saw Ryan showing off his hand. He asked me to show off my foot. When I did, another camp counselor showed us his webbed toes. Another kid told us about something that embarrassed him. And it just went on like that with each kid in the group.

I learned that week, that if my toe helped only Ryan, then it was worth having that crazy toe for my whole life. I never saw him put his hand back in his pocket again that week. I never covered up my toe out of shame and I haven't 10 years since. 

In college, my basketball teammates named it the "Nemo Toe" from the movie Finding Nemo (he has a fin that is smaller than the other one.) Today, I'm proud of my toe. Today, I know that I have it for a reason, but God made me wait 5 years to learn why. 

I learned two valuable lessons that summer, "God doesn't make mistakes" and "Time spent waiting on God is time never wasted." I wasted a lot of years asking God "why" about that crazy toe. I don't ask him anymore though, he gave me that toe for Ryan.